on zim, weeks six/seven

blog five

“only one life,

‘twill soon be past;

only what’s done 

for Christ will last”

• a plaque in john piper’s kitchen

“when you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” 

• colossians 2:13-15 (emphasis added)

hello again. the time has flown by. in less than a week, i will be on a plane, heading home. it’s been a wonderful, enriching time, and it certainly isn’t over yet, but it is time to start tidying up and preparing to return home. ‘tis bittersweet. and will always be bittersweet, i suppose. but maybe that just shows its character. just bitter would mean that nothing of value awaited me at home, and just sweet would imply that i would leave nothing of value behind. but bittersweet means (in this case, at least) that neither are true. i am truly blessed. 

here are just some notes on what’s been going on around harare these past couple of weeks. i’ve divided them up into three easily-accessible sections (baptists love sets of three. and tea. and preserving Biblical truth. but mostly tea). so here goes nothin’.

holiday club - a couple of weeks ago, we hosted a holiday club (vacation bible school) for the kids in the neighborhood around our church, the avenues, during the mornings of  the 3rd through the 6th. during the school year, awana (yes, just like the one in the states) is held at cbc every friday night, and so this was not only an attempt at further outreach to those kids, but also at reaching the kids around our church who had never been to church and would never come to a normal sunday service. another goal was to (indirectly) reach the parents through the kids themselves, and hopefully secure their collective interest in Jesus, community, regular attendance at a church, etc. in the weeks before, some of us went out and passed out flyers to all the kids in the nearby apartment blocs, inviting them to games! food! singing! and prizes! our energy was contagious, i think, and the responses that we got were pretty much always enthusiastic, but the actual turn-out was a reality check as to the spiritual conditions that many of the kids are being raised in. our goal for the week was 70; we began the week with about 30, and most of them were awana regulars. but we didn’t have time to be disappointed, for 30 was certainly enough to keep us busy. i was one the leaders for the yellow team, and we kicked butt. not really. we finished gloriously in last place. but we definitely has the most fun (isn’t that always how it works out? or maybe i just never win, so i can’t even speak for that side of things). the mornings consisted of games, singing, devotions, teaching, craft time, and a quiz on what we had learned that day. it might seem like a lot (it did to me, that’s for sure), but i must say, we had a fantastic team. lots of people were willing to volunteer their time, and the Lord saw to it that each of our needs, personnel and otherwise, was met. my duties included leading the singing, which turned out to be harder than i ever expected, leading some of the games (sharks and minnows...works every time), and assisting in the kitchen, preparing biscuits and juice for the kids and tea for the workers. for those of you who are campus by the sea family camp regulars, you’ll be glad to hear that i introduced the butterfly song, i am somebody, i am a c-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n, and jesus’ love is bubblin’ ovah to the kids, and they absolutely loved it. and they weren’t the only ones. one of the workers is a teacher at an elementary school down the road, and she asked if i could come and teach the songs to the kids at her school next week. so sweet. i’m so pumped. 

anyway, the week was splendid. we actually ended with just over 60 kids because the ones who had come on the first day ran home to tell their friends about where they had been. so sweet. and the kids were so cute, their faces just full of excitement and joy. on a deeper level, i think the ministry done was truly significant. i saw a few of the kids at our next sunday service, many of who had come alone, and some who had walked all the way across the avenues alone on a sunday morning just to come to church. who knows what kind of seeds were planted. i do know that my friends and i here at cbc poured a lot of love, the love of Jesus, into the lives of those kids, and i just hope that they were as blessed as i was. it was one of those times when you realize that it’s just not about you, but all about Him.

victoria falls - one of the primary consequences of this year of travel has been my (partial) understanding of how absurdly blessed i am. this past weekend, i was able to travel to victoria falls to enjoy God’s creation and the other side of zimbabwe (also God’s creation, but...you know what i mean). note to my sponsors - the only expense from the trip that i charged to my official account was the bus ticket, nothing else. this was a combined gift from my parents, who are incredible, and central baptist church in harare, where i’ve been interning. just so that you don’t think that i went gallivanting across zimbabwe, using your money to bungee* jump off a cliff and gaze at lots of water going off that same cliff. but anyway, just so you know. so after 13 hours in a bus, we arrived at the falls, and i caught a cab to my lodge. upon my arrival, i was informed that i was the only one in the entire place, and so i had been upgraded to the presidential suite, for free. starting the trip off right, in my opinion. i woke up early, ate breakfast in the company of some friendly local warthogs, and caught a bus to the place where i was to jump off the cliff. i wish i could just say bungee jump (note the asterisk above), because it was essentially the same thing, and the consensus around zimbabwe is that what i did is actually more hard-core, but alas, it was not pure bungee jumping. it was called the gorge swing, and basically it was just a 300-foot free fall into a  swinging motion over the zambezi. it was shnuts. i was so pumped after the first time that i promised to buy all the guys beer if they would let me go again. they were initially game, but their boss had decided to show up whilst i was jumping, and he vetoed the idea, saying “the white man can pay if he wants to go again.” blast, plan foiled. so they offered to give me a lift into town, which i gladly accepted. that night, despite being tired from a day of walking around town, i went on a sunset cruise down the river, hoping to see some wildlife and a beautiful sunset. 

so this night was one of most amazing i’ve had in a long time. i was in a bit of a sour mood before getting to the boat. i guess i was just tired, and worried about where to find dinner, but whatever the case, i definitely wasn’t in the mood to meet any new people.  i just wanted to get to the boat, sit at my own table, and enjoy nature in peace. but the Lord had other plans. first, i met a lovely german couple on the bus to the river, and we ended up sitting together and enjoying the first part of the cruise together, just chatting about germany and photography and lions and pretty much everything else under the sun. when the sun started to set, i rushed up to the top deck to get a better angle for pictures. up there, i met the most wonderful group of americans. they were travel agents from all around the country visiting vic falls so that they could give their clients insightful and up-to-date information on traveling there. sweet job, i know. anyway, they struck up a conversation with me and, despite the foul mood that i was in, they were so gregarious and kind that the mr. scrooge in me wore away and i came to just truly enjoy their company and the beauty of the sunset that we all were experiencing together. ‘twas wonderful. but that’s not even the half of it. when the cruise was drawing to a close, they approached me and asked me if i would like to come back with them to their hotel for dinner. i said yes immediately, just on principle, because bachelors should never say no to free food. but as they explained the situation to me, my jaw gradually dropped to the floor. they were staying at the victoria falls hotel, the premier lodging option at the falls and the oldest, most historic hotel in town. and not only that, the five-star restaurant that we would be eating at would be an all-you-can-eat buffet. ohmygosh. i was so pumped. what began as a night with little promise ended up blowing me away, all thanks to two sets of people who took it upon themselves to reach out to me. these are the kinds of things that stick with you, that you remember. i doubt that i’ll remember exactly how it felt to stand on the banks of the zamezi. but i’ll always remember those people who showed me, a stranger, love.

the last day was spent on the zambezi river, canoeing. we left early early in the morning, and to get to the drop-in spot we had to drive through mile of bush, during which we saw baboons, impala, warthogs, vultures, kudu, etc. nothing too special, but when you see them for the first time they might as well be unicorns. we got to the spot and embarked on our epic, action-packed journey... well, it was actually quite mellow. the zambezi has a strong current this time of year, so the paddling required was minimal, which was nice. on our way, we saw a few hippos, hordes of elephants, and even a few crocodiles. ok, story time - i legit came within six inches of a crocodile while walking along the shore, waiting for our canoes to be unloaded. it just jumped out in front of me, into the river. i screamed like a little girl, then tried to recover by puffing my chest out and ensuring everyone that it was ok, just a baby crocodile (lies, it must’ve been at least fifty feet long), and that i had it all under control. reflexive macho-ness = ridiculous, yes, but a reality. all in all, it was a sweet time. being outdoors and getting to observe the wildlife was amazing. but it couldn’t hold a candle to the falls. after we disembarked, i rushed over there for fear that i would miss the rainbows, which i guess are best in the afternoon. what i witnessed is impossible to put into words. it’s one of the few places that i’ve ever been where the might and power of our Lord was put on display. it was truly breathtaking. i’ll put up some pictures, but it’s just one of those places that you’ll just have to visit yourself. anyway, after spending a few hours there, i walked back into town, back to my lodge, showered and changed clothes, and hit the town for the night. i grabbed dinner at this little restaurant that was showing the superugby match between my team (the cheetahs) and the crusaders, and i ate my burger and chips in contented silence as i watched my boys roll to victory. afterwards, i asked around for where to find the best nightlife in town. the bartender pointed me to the shoestrings lodge, where they often had djs and local bands performing live. so i went, and honestly, didn’t plan on talking to anyone. i was just gonna go, have a couple of drinks, listen to some good music, and be on my way. but again, God had different plans. as i was just chillin’ on the fringes somewhere, i was approached by two locals who asked me to buy them drinks. i declined and turned away, but they didn’t seem at all interested in returning to their seats, so we just started talking. the conversation (don’t ask me how, i legit have no idea) turned to spiritual matters, and two hours and zero beers later, we were standing right where we met, working through the basic tenets of the Gospel and why it applied to their lives. it eventually got too late, and their ride was waiting, so we had to part ways. we never really got to wrap up the conversation. but who knows what kinds of seeds were planted. i hope and pray that they were led back to Christ, or at least set on that path, through that conversation or resulting ones. it’s all in His hands. anyway, the weekend was amazing, and was one of those times when you realize that it’s just not about you, but all about Him.

life around church - ok it’s getting late, so this will have to be quick. everyday life around the church has been wonderful. i’ve set about tackling all the work that i’ve been procrastinating on (some habits never die, i suppose), so it’s beginning to become a bit stressful, but it’s ok. if my college study habits are any indicator, that’s when i’m my most productive. but ya, a couple of sundays ago, i was asked to sing in the chorus for the praise and worship team, and i (very) warily said yes. i had never done anything like that before; i felt totally naked without a guitar in my hands haha. but it went well. on the shona songs, i just tried to hum the tune and make it look like i knew what i was doing. gotta fake it ‘til you make it, i guess.

lately i’ve been interviewing some of the girls who have come through the rafiki girls’ centre over the years for our “significant change” booklet. the stories are at once horrifying and inspiring. these girls have been through so much. hearing their testimonies has spurred me on in my work at the church. the knowledge that i’m helping in some small way is enough to keep me pushing forward. the picture below is of one of the girls that i interviewed yesterday.

at the beginning of the month i moved in with another family, the idukus, and it has been truly wonderful. they’re so sweet and their hospitality is beyond description. they have a three-year old named khula, and tonight he asked if i could read him a Bible story, so i chose the beatitudes. he lost interest very quickly. i think i should just stick to high school ministry.

on social concerns distribution days, i’ve begun to recognize some faces, which has been so sweet. two stories stand out from the past few weeks. first, tom and i drove a blind lady and her one-year old baby to the hospital a few weeks ago when she showed up at the door to the church with her baby covered with untreated third-degree burns. but not only were the untreated, she had covered them with some kind of paste, which the baby was clearing having an allergic reaction to. it turns out that she had gone to see a local witch doctor, paid him the last of her savings, and received the sound advice to purchase any over-the-counter drug, crush the pills and mix them with cream, and cover the baby’s burns with the resulting paste. the result? well, it definitely didn’t work. so we took her to the hospital, paid the bill, and asked her to update us when she knew more. so she came by the church yesterday with her bouncing baby boy who seemed fascinated, even amused, with his own scars; he kept lifting up his shirt to show passerby his scarred belly. so cute, in the saddest way possible. second, there’s promise, a lady with only one hand who has started her own knitting business! with one hand, she manages to knit clothes for the kids in the neighborhood around where she lives, and can almost fully support her family off of her income. i’m a miserable knitter, as i’m sure most of us are, and i even have both of my hands! she is a wonderful example of someone taking initiative and grasping the business sense that so many lack. when asked about her business, she glows, but when i asked about her husband, she looked down and became quiet. “i haven’t seen him in a while. he just comes and goes. i don’t know what to do.” tragically, she’s not the only one. it’s a pattern we see all the time. if he keeps with the trend, he won’t stay around for long. he’ll move on, maybe move to mozambique or south africa, leaving her to care for the kids herself. the kids, growing up without a loving male presence in their lives, will be at greater risk of teenage pregnancy and abusive relationships and, for the guys specifically, behaving just as their father did. and the cycle will continue to repeat itself until someone makes a decision to change. but there’s no telling when that could be. idk, it just makes me so sad. anyway, that’s what’s been going on around central.

geez that was a long one. i don’t even know if that’s gonna fit in one post.

please pray for me, that my last week here would be wonderful and enriching. and that i may never cease to love.

(on that note) love,

h

on zim, weeks four/five

jeremiah 9:23-24 - “this is what the Lord says: ‘let not the the wise boast of wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast in about this: the he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight.’”

colossians 2:8 - “see to it that no one takes you captive through hollow or deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.”

the cost of discipleship, dietrich bonhoeffer - (on cheap, self-imparted grace) “even if he absolves himself from his sins a thousand times, he has lost all capacity of faith in true forgiveness, just because he has never really known it.”

so i’m currently lying in bed, listening to damien rice, burning the midnight oil, trying to plan games for vacation bible school tomorrow. forty kids with boundless energy. one multi-purpose room. thirty minutes. piece of cake. 

these past couple of weeks have flown by. i seriously cannot believe that i only have three weeks left here in zim. but maybe that’s a good sign. my mind hasn’t been focused on things ahead - i have managed to stay in the present, learning and sharing as much as i can. it has been such an enriching time. because it’s late, and i still have work to do, i’m afraid that this one will be short. but hopefully i’ll be able to write again soon.

• one of the ministries that i am working with while i’m here is the social concerns ministry of central baptist church. social concerns is a ministry which, in partnership with international aid organizations and benefactors, brings physical assistance in the form of food and cooking supplies to the poor of harare. distribution takes place every tuesday and thursday afternoon. but aside from participating in the distribution of the actual materials, i’ve also accompanied some of the ministry leaders on “home visits”, when they drive around the city and visit the people who come to the church for assistance at their homes. as i’m sure most of you already know, zimbabwe is a country in crisis. economic, social, and spiritual crisis. but just as in any conventional third-world country, it is not the policy-makers who suffer - it is the poor. this i understood academically before i even began to plan the trip, but did not truly understand until it stared me straight in the face. we’ve taken trips all around town, but easily the most memorable experience we had was in the neighborhood “mufakose”, known for being one of the worst. five of us, in a beaten-up toyota pick-up, pulled up in front of a house, and three went inside - itai, tom and myself. we were there to see an elderly lady and her husband, who was suffering from leg problems, skin cancer, and a host of other maladies. on the way there, i asked if we should call ahead, to let them know we were coming. you know, just to be polite. everyone laughed, and informed me that i was in africa - there is no such thing as a closed door. hospitality at all times is the mantra to live by. i sighed. her grandson greeted us at the door and sat us down in the front room (there were only two in the house, besides the kitchen). she came out shortly after, full of energy, and greeted us as honored guests in her home, giving us the grand tour. proudly she showed us the patch of sugarcane which she was growing in the back yard and insisted on cutting down about seventeen million sticks for us to take home to our families. the tour ended back in the front room, and there we sat and read from the Word. itai and tom spoke to her and her grandson in shona, the native language, so i just tuned out for a little while, soaking up the room and examining every picture frame from the comfort of my armchair. ten minutes later, the sermon was over, and tom offered to pray so that we could be on our way. i bowed my head to pray, but felt a tap on my shoulder. “she wants you to pray,” said tom. “what? she can’t be serious. she knows i don’t speak shona.” “i asked if i could pray, but she wants you to pray.” “umm...alright.” truthfully speaking, it was a mediocre prayer. the whole time i was just trying to wrap my mind around the situation, wondering what to pray for, how to communicate the love of God clearly, how to speak slowly and use simple words so that they could understand, etc. i finished, looked up, and was shocked to see her crying. she stood up, wiped her eyes, came over to where i was sitting, and gave me the biggest hug of my life, whispering “i love you child” and “thank you, thank you” over and over again. my eyes returned her tears. thank goodness we have a God who is more powerful than our shortcomings.

• two weekends ago, i traveled to bvumba heights, a beautiful region in the eastern highlands, with ten other young adults from central baptist church to attend a baptist union of zimbabwe (buz) youth retreat. we met up with other churches from the eastern region at the eagles training centre, nestled in the mountain range which separates zimbabwe and mozambique. i could write a novel on that weekend alone, so i’ll spare you the details. basically, it was a wonderful time. it was my first real experience with shona culture, and as a foreigner, i didn’t quite know what to expect. but the efforts taken by everyone at the camp to make sure that i felt included in their activities made the transition easier than i ever thought possible. we played lots of soccer and rugby, ate lots of sadza and beans, sang lots of songs and danced lots of dances, and spent a lot of time just hanging out. i was admittedly a bit shy at the start of the camp, but as the days wore on and people kept pursuing me, inviting me into their community, i had no choice but to take the leap. it was wonderful. they even asked me to sing for them, which i did on a few occasions. on the last night, they asked me to share a testimonial from the weekend, just something that i would like to pass onto them, something that had impacted me in a significant way. i told them that, to me, they were now the face of the global church. thank goodness we have a God who is King over all the world. 

• last week was hifa (harare international festival of the arts) at the harare gardens, zimbabwe’s equivalent to central park in manhattan, a few blocks away from church. it felt a little bit like heaven. musicians, artists, poets, dancers, and actors from across the world met up in harare to participate in the festival, and i was fortunate enough to be able to go to a several shows. much of the material was polemic and political (as can be expected from a festival like this, artists tend to be an opinionated bunch) but managed to retain its professional quality. quite impressive. everything was wonderful, but two shows stood out as exceptional. nneka, a nigerian/german warrior princess, is the next lauryn hill. outdoor concert, standing room only, rain, mud all over my clothes, and it all went away when she started to sing. look her up. plus her drummer gave me a hug. the last show i went to was semtam, a dj duo from the czech republic. it was late at night, and i went with a couple of friends from church. as soon as they started playing, i could tell that they were good. ridiculously good. and i wanted to dance, but i was nervous. dancing for me always involves some kind of embarrassment. the certainty of this almost kept me chained to my seat. but i was feeling brave, so i went down and joined the few people on the dance floor. eventually everyone emptied out of their seats and made their way to the floor and i, feeling emboldened, just decided to let loose, to dance the night away. so i did, for over an hour. i just danced as i would dance, unfettered by anything. and it was great, until it ended and i looked up, panting, to applause from a section of the audience who had apparently just been watching me the whole time. seriously, i wish i was joking. they were all giving me the thumbs up and requesting the i try some of my more acrobatic moves again. needless to say, i turned bright red, gave them a courtesy wave, and made my way quickly for the exit. i’m laughing as i write this, but i was absolutely mortified at the time haha. oh well. thank goodness we have God, the Father, who created us in His image.

in conclusion, i’m doing really well, except that i’m fairly tired, which i can remedy by ending this blog post. so goodnight, good people. please continue to pray for me, and for my community here in zim. pray that i can use my time well, and that the vacation bible school can go well. please e-mail me if you want to know anything more.

holland.stewart@gordon.edu

love,

holland

on zim, weeks two/three

colossians 3:12-17

“therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. forgive as the Lord forgave you. and over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 

“let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. and be thankful. let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

dietrich bonhoeffer, the cost of discipleship

“when we go to Church and listen to the sermon, what we want to hear is His word - and that not merely for selfish reasons, but for the sake of the unchurched masses who are deaf to the message of the Church. we have a strange feeling that if Jesus himself - Jesus alone with His word - could come into our midst at sermon time, we should find quite a different set of men hearing the word, and quite a different set rejecting it.”

these past couple of weeks have seen the end of my “orientation” period (although my orientation will essentially continue until i leave) and my settling into a daily routine around the church. it has been a deeply involved time. i’ve spent many afternoons just walking around the city (usually lost), trying to grasp the layout of the city. for someone who has visited enough cities to satisfy a lifetime, i remain hopeless when it comes to my geographical bearings. oh well. but the wanderings have had an unforeseen effect - i’ve been blessed to form relationships with some people around town, usually completely by chance. one guy is a bellhop at the crowne plaza, a prominent hotel downtown. another girl works at besty’s beauty salon a few blocks from the church. yet another guy works at the book cafe, the spot i walk to every morning. and lastly, there’s the homeless man who sleeps near the book cafe. pray that these relationships will be blessed, and that i will be able to clearly convey Christ's love to them.

week two was spent with the bell's, waking up absurdly early, drinking tea, eating porridge, reading lots of books, and supporting rafael nadal (or really, just whoever was playing against novak djokovic). on friday morning we departed for nyanga national park. pastor bell had been invited to speak at a camp for a house church in a rural area, and so we packed up and drove to the beautiful park on the eastern border. the region is breath-taking, unlike anything i’d ever seen, and with weather like Seattle, we were fortunate to find our cottage warm and cozy. our time was spent reading books, drinking tea (notice the consistency), hearing pastor bell’s thoughts on isaiah, and hiking around the area. the bells with their gracious hospitality have played a significant role in my experience so far and have aided my settling far more than they know. when sunday came, i said goodbye to the bells and we parted ways, as they went off to another cottage for a family vacation and i came back to harare to resume work at the church. john mccroberts, an elder at our home church who was in the area, picked me up. i slept the whole way home. 

since then, i've been living with another church family, the mauwzas. lloyd and laura mauwza, who co-direct the navigator's branch at the university of zimbabwe, have three kids: luna (17), georgina (12), and wema (7). as can be expected, it took a while to re-adjust and re-orient myself to the new pad (the roosters didn't help), but i've begun to settle in and look forward to spending the next couple weeks in their home. the gracious hospitality of the mauwzas has truly been a blessing. the picture below is wema and i one morning having fun with photobooth before breakfast.

around the church, it has been business as usual. i arrive every morning around 7:30 and walk to the book cafe to use the internet, drink tea and chat with my new-found friends around the area. that's the thing about zimbabweans - relationships are everything. if i miss a day, they ask me where i was, why i didn't come, etc. these are people that i just met a couple days ago! it's crazy. then i walk back to church, and get to work on some of the many projects currently on my to-do list. this past week, i set about making a new brochure for the rafiki girls' centre as their old one was far outdated. that was completed on friday, and as i triumphantly printed out the first copy...i realized that i had formatted it to standard u.s. letter, not zimbabwe's a4. it came out looking quite interesting, to say the least. awjkcdabewwbc. back to work.

another area that i've been able to get involved with has been the social concerns ministry, one of the many humanitarian ministries at central. every tuesday and thursday at 2:00, impoverished people from around harare meet at the church to sing praise to the Lord, hear a sermon, and receive packets of food. most of those who show up for aid don't speak english, and so the opportunities that i have to interact with them are few and far between. but oftentimes, words are not needed. last week, this young boy (couldn't have been older than seven) walked in, leading his blind, elderly mother. he was so skinny. they both were. he just looked so tired. there was nothing childish about him, save for his stature. he never had the chance. we'll never truly know how much our handouts mean to people like this. we genuinely could be the reason that they're alive. it's crazy to think about. it's also crazy to think about how powerful the love of Christ is. a simple smile is sometimes all it takes, particularly with children. when children pass by my station, i always try to smile and ask how they're doing. their usual reaction is so intriguing. it's one of shock, then distrust, then hopeful curiosity. and all of this is communicated silently. they will look away quickly, and then look up after a few seconds, doubtful, then hopeful, as their paradigm of suffering and hardship is challenged. for a moment, they wonder if life really could be different, one day. but then they're gone, walking out the door with enough food to last maybe a few days. that's when i pray. 

but anyway, the situation of that family is not unique. yesterday i served a woman who, in the political violence of 2008, was beaten and raped by zanu-pf supporters in an act of intimidation, and in that atrocious act contracted hiv/aids. her husband, hearing of what happened, left her. alone. destitute. a modern-day leper. how do these people keep going, keep striving towards a better way? how do they keep they're hope? who knows. i can only wonder. 

in conclusion, i'm doing well. i miss home a lot, but that's a beautiful difficulty to have. tomorrow i'm leaving for the western border again to attend a youth camp for all the baptist youth in the country. everything will be conducted in shona (the native tongue), so that should be interesting. next week, the harare international festival for the arts (hifa) begins, and i'm about as excited as andrew stewart in front of a cake. i've bought four tickets so far, three for concerts and one for a play documenting the political atmosphere in harare over the past decade. another pastoral intern (naison) and i are starting a study on john piper's book don't waste your life with some of the young guys, so that is definitely a prayer request. recently i finished love is an orientation by andrew marin and the hole in our gospel by richard stearns, and have just started on the cost of discipleship by bonhoeffer (hence the quote above).

the music i've been listening to lately

lift me up (the afters)
finally begin (the cold war kids)
the sea (corinne bailey rae)
daydreamer (adele)
anything by bob dylan
ambitions and war (jbm)
as tall as cliffs (margot and the nuclear so & so's)
constant knot (city and colour)
flightless bird, american mouth (iron & wine)
in the dirt (s. carey)
oh no (andrew bird)
the kids don't stand a chance (vampire weekend)
i don't mind (the decemberists)
all creatures of our god and king (david crowder band)
short road (parlor hawk)
amie (damien rice)
consequence (the notwist)
lovers in japan (coldplay)
basic space (the xx)
the lucky ones (brendan james)
lay 'em down (needtobreathe)
love's on its way (corinne bailey rae)
kick drum heart (the avett brothers)

ok i've gotta go, i'm late for a meeting. 

love,

holland

on zim, week one

(in humility, for this comes out of my own conviction). what comes to mind when you think of the African continent? political unrest? disease? Invisible Children? safaris? obviously, there is no “correct” answer, but any genuine inquiry should result in the realization that Africa is too diverse and too dynamic a place to be generalized in a few thoughts. divided between North and South, white and black, rich and poor, diseased and healthy, rebels and the government-faithful, Muslim and everyone else... as a Westerner, and one that (for better or for worse) has been deeply entrenched in popular evangelical culture, it has been easy to simplify the continent into a few vague concepts to make it fit inside my hopelessly narrow worldview. but it does not have to be that way. as you read this blog (which hopefully i will have the time to update regularly), give it your best attempt to think about Africa - and the rest of the world, for that matter - holistically, abandoning the paternalistic approach that so many Westerners take, often subconsciously, to interacting with our brothers and sisters from other nations. in my opinion, there is a wealth of knowledge to be gained from humbly seeking other cultures. they always go deeper than initial perception can hope to capture and often will surprise you entirely. so lay it down, let it go, and come to learn. you will not regret it. 

with that being said, my first few days here in Zim, meant to be my orientation of sorts, have been active and informative. upon arrival on thursday afternoon, pastor bell and i dropped off my gear at his house (at which i am staying for the first week or so) and headed off to run some errands and meet some people. most of those whom i met are affiliated in someway with the Central Baptist Church, where i will be interning for the next eight weeks. among those whom i’ve met so far are the church elders, the administrators of the Rafiki Centre, the pastoral staff, the staff of the nearby theological college, and the youth group, which seemed to welcome me with open arms (i don’t want to count my victories too early haha). my travels this year have shown me a new meaning of the word “hospitality”, and the africans which i have interacted with so far have only exceeded my expectations. the Bells have been absolutely wonderful hosts, and Naison, a pastoral intern at CBC and local Hararian, was kind enough to show me around the city by foot, informing me on the dos and don’ts of life in Zim. drivers are crazy, get used to the weird smells, and everyone drinks tea.

as i stated before, Africa completely blew away my expectations. i’m not foreign to third-world poverty, but this is different. Zim is a country in crisis. infrastructure has fallen apart, state law is virtually obsolete, the national currency is worthless, the unemployment rate is over 90%, police and politicians (and seemingly everyone in any sort of power) are corrupt, and the list goes on and on. the systemic problems plaguing this place are mind-blowing. and yet, it is a beautiful country, with beautiful people. even having only been here a few days, i can already see that. today i had the opportunity to head out into the country to the bally vaughn game sanctuary with david and katherine (brits, friends of the bells), and enjoyed myself immensely. the countryside is breathtaking and the animals lived up to all expectations (except for the leopard, which was dismally fat and non-agile). hopefully i can post some pictures on facebook tonight.

it is in circumstances like this that i am forced to seriously wonder what i could possibly have to offer these people. my native culture could not be more different. i don’t know what it’s like to call this place home. but i am comforted and reassured by the Holy Spirit and the knowledge that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the most culturally transcendent message i could possibly be bringing. hallelujah. it was never about me, and never will be. thank goodness. 

blessings,

h

on the bahamas

to watch God, our Heavenly Father, work in my own life has been both powerful and humbling. to watch Him work in the lives of others, particularly those whom i’ve been discipling, is powerful and humbling as well. but uniquely so. at times, the recognition of God’s work in another’s life is far more compelling, spurring us on towards love, good deeds and a renewed focus on Christ, the Son. this is not always a pleasant epiphany, but it is always a good one. and one to be thankful for.

recently i was privileged to be part of a missions team from trinity church that visited the caribbean nation of the bahamas in hopes of spreading Christ’s love and furthering the kingdom of God. our primary focus lay at the all saints’ camp, a modern-day leper colony for those with hiv/aids or any other debilitating condition. lepers, outcasts by our standards, children of God by His. i say without hesitation that the joy and love that the residents poured out on our team with never be forgotten, by anyone. ‘tis a humbling thing when you expect to minister on a missions trip and instead are ministered to. still, hardly an hygienic place (also without electricity or running water), the camp needs your thoughts and prayers. we also spent time at a local orphanage, the bahamian association for the physically disabled (b.a.p.d.), and the adventure learning centre, which is the bahamian equivalent to c.i.mi. (catalina island marine institute, where many young kids living in so cal go for field trips). needless to say, the days were full. students and leaders alike returned exhausted from our various outings. but God spoke through the trip in a powerful way, and in the end, despite the fatigue, everyone was begging for more time. many cited their interactions with the precious residents as the most awesome part of the entire trip. ‘twas a beautiful thing. seeing God move in the lives of the teenagers that came from l.a. to spend their spring break serving the untouchables of bahamian society was amazing to witness (and inspiring, to say the least).

by His grace we were able to do His will, and returned from the trip refocused and rejuvenated. may He continue to work in and through us, in redlands and elsewhere. 

one story - about halfway through the week, i took three students over to the adventure learning centre for the day, and the staff there placed each of us with a different class. i was with the fifth-graders. as the day progressed, it became clear to me who the trouble-makers of the class were. of course, there was a posse of them, all boys, with a ringleader who clearly was not interested in paying any kind of attention. so i had to be very stern with them to keep them on task, which obviously didn’t make me the most popular kid in town. i began to sense their increasing disdain for me and whatever authority i claimed to have, and so began to pray for reconciliation and the continued opportunity to share Christ’s love. the ringleader (shawn) and i were sitting in timeout together, and began to talk (we didn’t say that much, as he usually had to repeat things a few times (bahamian accents)). but that was all it took. as we were walking back to join the rest of the group, he took my hand, looked up at me, and said, “let’s skip?” so we did. in fact, we all did. me, shawn, and the rest of his posse. the toughest kids in town, holding hands and skipping around the a.l.c. i’m convinced that everyone - the kids, the teachers, myself - was slightly amused and thoroughly confused. but it didn’t matter. 

on europe

dear friends and family,


as many of you already know, i recently took a sabbatical from the daily grind here in redlands and embarked on a two-month backpacking tour of the european continent. basically, i lived the hipster dream, through and through. upon departure, i vowed to all of you who were present that i would keep a weekly blog, updating you on the goings-on of everything overseas. alas, i failed marvelously, as is evidenced by my first post coming...1.5 months later. those of you who know me well may have expected that as much would happen, as i have earned a reputation as a forgetful person (and rightfully so), but even so, i apologize for not being more diligent. i will pray for the opportunity to discuss the trip at length with all who desire to know the details. for those who don't really care for the details...this post is for you.


the trip was long. and lonely. and stressful. and (at times) sketchy. and frustrating. and disheartening. and lonely. and long.


but it was also short. too short. and filled with new faces, new places, new stories (and you all know how much i love stories). and restful, in the deepest sense. and (at times) cause for celebration. and instructive, or maybe enlightening is a better word. and challenging. and gloriously triumphal...


...all at once.


ok so now that you guys have a better sense of what happened on my trip...just kidding. the truth is, the trip was so many things, most of which are beyond description. all of us have had experiences like that, where the stories, no matter how well-told, just fall short. this trip, for me, was not defined by the places that i visited, the landmarks that i checked off my list, or even the people that i met. no, this trip was defined by the strides that i made in my personal growth, as a follower of christ. many battles that had raged in my heart since adolescence were put to rest, with the savior of the world as my champion. many doubts concerning my identity, my abilities, and even my faith, were assuaged by the power of his love. many fears that i harbored concerning the future, and the present, and the past, were conquered by the affirmation of his sovereignty of his rule above all creation. and, surrounded by the thoroughly secular european culture, the reality of my sinful nature was (often painfully) revealed to me over the course of the trip. i guess all that is to say that i came into my own, as a man of god. i started to think like one. i started to act like one. and i started to believe that i could be one, and possibly even was one already. a small step for some men, but not for me. it was significant. and that was not all that happened for me personally. but, again, this post is not about the details.


i will share with you some highlights, though. because there were a few, i guess :)
* spending the majority of my first day in the frankfurt zoo, taking a nap on a bench in the aviary (serious jetlag)
* impulsively registering for a conference on molecular biology in heidelburg. saw the flyer, caught a cab, enjoyed hours of meaningless babble about enzymes and llama mating patterns. at least it was all in english...
* visiting martin and anke muller in heidelburg. such sweet people
* befriending my first aussie in copenhagen. for those of you who don't know, aussies are the best
* leaving copenhagen. that place is so flippin' expensive
* sharing the gospel with a danish drug lord on the train out. pray for kristian in denmark
* in cologne, watching a german football game in a local pub, with the locals, and drinking way too much beer, with the locals
* catholic mass in the cologne cathedral. all in german, but still, incredible
* watching a bad robert de niro movie with twenty other complete strangers in brussels...and realizing that some humor may just transcend cultural differences. staying up late talking with those very people about the rigors of traveling and the best ways to cope with homesickness (some of their methods were a little unorthodox, to say the least)
* missing trains left and right. i have a hard enough time getting places as it is, but when the directions are in a foreign language, i'm really in trouble
* hitchhiking through the french countryside. being picked up by the sweetest old lady, who drove me twenty kilometers for free. one random act of kindness that changed my trip
* surviving off of mcdonald's one pound mcchicken sandwiches in london (also very expensive)
* took a tour of london (beautiful city). befriended my tour guide, discovered that he was in a band, went to the band's show in what was hopefully the seediest bar i will ever enter
* visiting my gordonian friends in oxford, england. such wonderful people. another act of kindness that changed my trip
* conquering paris in a few days. challenging, but it can be done
* sneaking into a five-star hotel (converted castle) on the french riviera. after touring the grouds for a while, deciding to skinny dip in their heated jacuzzi
* watching five swiss men consume enough alcohol in one night to dazzle me (at that point, i had seen some  impressive displays, but this topped them all)
* relishing every moment spent at l'abri switzerland. heaven on earth, that place
* enjoying the royal treatment at the fankhauser's in bern, switzerland. european hospitality knows no bounds
* paying way too much for a tour of the vatican city
* being confused about italian people
* marveling at tuscan beauty
* bartering with florentine street vendors for hours
* visiting massimo dragon in trieste, italy. a wonderful time
* struggling to find anything redeeming about venice. once you get past the canals, it's just not that cool
* catching the fourteen-hour night train from venice to budapest. talking to my hungarian train conductor for hours about the crazy croatian gypsies
* going folk dancing in a budapest jazz club (the jazz musicians were off that night). all of the instructions were in hungarian. needless to say, they knew that i wasn't from around there
* spending the day at the public baths in budapest. sixteen jacuzzis. old, fat hungarians. oh baby
* meeting a british soccer team at the baths. they were in budapest for a game, and needed an extra player. so i played for them. my soccer experience was limited (to say the absolute least), but they were all so hung over that i don't think they noticed
* befriending two more aussies in prague. exploring the city together. saw a legit shriveled hand, hanging from the ceiling of a church. post-communism europe = weeeeeeird
* having my pocket picked in prague. passport, eurail pass, driver's license...all gone
* visiting dachau. fml
* leaning on my parents more than i ever had in recent memory
* attending a contemporary christian church service for the first time in two months (in munich). bawling my eyes out for an hour and a half
* feeling the strength and support of the body of christ like i had never felt it before
* watching the glockenspiel. lame. but not as lame as the changing of the guard at buckingham palace. now that was a waste of an hour
* making it to amsterdam. last stop
* flight cancelled. united putting me in a sheraton hotel room for the night. compared to what i had grown accustomed to? straight luxury
* coming home. safe and sound


so that was it. a fantastic trip, and exhausting, even to think about. well, it's late. probably should get to bed.


goodnight,
h